Compatibility

• Do you like them, and like being with them?
• Are they among your best friends?
• Do you have a lot in common?
• Do you have similar values, interests, goals and faith?

Attitudes and Actions

• Do they have a “sensitive” conscience which means they know the difference between right and wrong?
• How do they behave?
• What is their temperament? Are they usually positive, pleasant and kind, or are they negative, grouchy and mean?
• How do they express their affection?
• Are they respectful of your opinions as well as your “boundaries”?
• How do they express their anger?
• Do they make positive choices and avoid risk behavior?
• Do they have a positive or negative attitude?
• Are they making the most of their education?

Social/Relationship Skills

• Do they have close friends?
• How do they treat their friends, parents, siblings, teachers, etc.?
• What social skills do they have?

Relationships with Others

• Have they been sexually involved with one or more people?
• Has there been a pattern of healthy or unhealthy relationships?
• Why and how did their other relationships end?
• Do they get along well with their parents, siblings and peers?

Family and Childhood Experiences

• What are their parents and siblings like?
• Do you like and respect their family?
• Does their family have positive character qualities like honesty, unselfishness, trustworthiness, etc.?
• How does their family treat you?
• How does their family express affection?
• How does their family express their anger?

If there are any “red flags” you probably should not date these people in order to protect your self from getting hurt.

Adapted from Dr. John Van Epp, How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette. Medina, OH (2005)